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Monday, December 10, 2012

Standing outside the fire

I went camping for the first time this weekend.

Tent.
Dirt.
Bugs.
Fire.
Smores.
The works.

And of course, it wasn't just a normal, regular experience.
No, it was one of those "Is this really happening to me right now?" type experiences.

First, we got to the site right as the sun was going down. Which is not good ... since one needs some light in order to set everything up ... but also, Mount Cheaha is the highest point in the state and I wanted to see how pretty it was. But that didn't happen (and it didn't happen in the morning either...but I digress). That's okay, we said. We will just make the fire first and that will solve the light problem.

We realized, though, that it was going to take years to gather enough wood and leaves and sticks to make an actual legit fire. Yeah, that was the plan. Gather up a bunch of leaves on our site and make a fire. No. Doesn't work that way.

Thank the Lord God above that the state park store sold firewood. I spent over $30 for 5 bushels of wood (The woman said that 2 bushels would be plenty ... but it took us one whole bushel to get the fire started so I had to go back down and get three more so we could survive). Every time I walked back into the store, I got judgmental looks.

So, we finally got a pretty good fire started but that didn't help the light situation ... which was not good because we had a tent to set up ... a tent without instructions in the dark. So, while Janie attempted to put it together, I held a flashlight giving her light to see, while also tending to the fire. The two cars that drove by had a good laugh, I'm sure.

After an hour of unsuccessful tent making, I gave in and called the girl who let me borrow her tent. She attempted to tell me how to do it and then suggested that we just look at the instructions stapled into the bag. Instructions that we didn't know were there. Of course. Normal.

So yes, we did have instructions but they were not helpful at all. Janie pressed on, however, repeating to herself that she was going to get it if it was the last thing she did. An hour and a half later ... we finally had the tent up (wish I had a picture to prove it) But, oh the joy and the happiness.

But yes, it took two and a half hours to put up the tent. In the dark. With a flashlight. Definition of teamwork.

Next, it was time to eat ... that part of the trip went smoothly. We combined raw meat with potatoes and carrots in a tin foil bag and threw them on the fire. Thirty minutes later, we had a nice little meat and potatoes meal. I was very impressed with the outcome. It was no Outback but it definitely was better than a Lean Cuisine.

Then, I lost my smore virginity. I had never ever made or had a smore in my whole 24 years of living.  Pretty yummy stuff.

We sat around the fire and talked and laughed and gossiped and freaked out at every little noise we heard until we got tired. We made a little palette of blankets in the tent (8 of them to be exact) and attempted to go to sleep ... which was insanely difficult to do since the tent ended up being situated on a small hill due to the problems we had setting it up. Half of my body was laying low and the other half was a bit on higher ground. Three days later ... I'm still feeling it. Next time, an air mattress is seriously going to happen. I don't know what we were thinking not bringing one. #rookieproblems

I don't know how much time had gone by when Janie woke me up.

"Amy, it's raining", she said. I sat up and sure enough ... there was a light drizzle coming from the little opening in the top of the tent, the opening that I requested we leave open so we could get "the full effect".

I assured Janie it was just a light drizzle and that we would be fine. Few more minutes go by and the rain starts to come down even harder. And oh there was thunder too. So poor sweet little Janie flung herself outside the tent to find the covering for the tent's ceiling. Thankfully, that part was not hard to figure out and she got it on just in time so that we weren't drenched. Just a little damp.

The next morning, we awoke to ...


Which was very, very unfortunate because we had planned on waking up and hiking the park. But it soon hit us that hiking was not going to happen. In fact, we realized that it would probably be best if we just packed everything up .... and head to the nearest Cracker Barrel.

Which we did. We somehow took apart our masterpiece of a tent in the pouring rain and shoved it ... water, mud and all, into my car. All 8 blankets were drenched. The fold-up chairs. Our clothes. Everything. Drenched.

To make everything even more fun, it was insanely foggy. So I still have no idea what Mount Cheaha looks like. But I'm convinced I'll make it happen sometime.

We stuffed our faces at the next exit at Cracker Barrel, to make ourselves feel better. And I'm pretty sure I've never been out in public looking that bad. I threw a hat on over my disgusting wet hair but I still got more judgmental looks. 'Twas the weekend of judgment.

Lessons learned:
Bring firewood
Get to the campsite before the sun goes down
Make sure you know how to set up your sleeping quarters
Bring a stinkin' air mattress

Who wants to go with me next time?!


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