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Sunday, June 23, 2013


I normally eat Multi-Grain Cheerios for breakfast. Like, everyday.

But yesterday morning, I woke up and wanted something way more fattening and tasty than that.

So I dug around in our freezer and found a couple of frozen french toast sticks leftover. Perfect.

I put them in the microwave, pressed the start button and gathered my syrup and utensils.

When the buzzer when off on the microwave, I opened the door and had a moment.

They weren't french toast sticks.

They were fish sticks.

So there's that.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

3-days and blah

Okay so here's what happened with the diet:

I followed day one and day two perfectly, with only one exception. There were a couple of things I just didn't eat because I didn't want it. And you can't really count NOT eating something as cheating. So, yes. I followed it perfectly.

And then day three happened. And everything went downhill.

On day three, my office had Zoe's called in for lunch - that was the day I was supposed to have two slices of bacon and one slice of bread for lunch (originally I think I was supposed to have 2 ounces of nuts or something, but I decided to use the bacon substitute at the last minute).

When Zoe's arrived at the office, I didn't go near the kitchen until everyone had eaten and everything was put away. I then proceeded to heat up my bacon in the microwave while I gobbled up my pathetic slice of bread.

A few of my co-workers sensed the bacon-y smell floating around the office and questioned what in the world it could be ... because who brings bacon to an office? I automatically started to question the smell with them as I quickly shoved the bacon pieces into my mouth to destroy the evidence. Pretty sure that's the first and last time the blr | further microwave will greet bacon slices again.

Around 3:00 pm, I stood up from my chair to go do something, and I immediately felt like I was either 1) going to faint 2) throw up or 3) die. I made my way into the kitchen and found two little pita breads to get me through the rest of the day.

Around 5:00 pm, I received a text message from my friend, Rachel, letting me know she was excited about watching MadMen that night and that she had dinner waiting on me.


I completely forgot about those plans. And there was no way I was going to text her back and say, "Ohhh, yeah. About that. I'm on a 3-day diet that's probably not going to work so I can't eat the food that you so generously made for me."

Thankfully, Rachel is a very health conscious person and made some nicely baked chicken with vegetables and rice - it was quite good ... but to me, I was so completely famished that it tasted like what I imagine happiness would taste like if it had flavor.  Divine.

So upon the next morning's dawn (actually closer to 7:10 am, the time I wake up every morning. I couldn't tell you what dawn looks like), I made the dreaded walk to the scale.

4 pounds lost.
4 pounds lost in 3 days - which everyone keeps saying is actually pretty good.

And I haven't weighed in since, but I'm pretty sure that it's all completely back due to the pizza and alcohol and mexican food I've ingested this last week.


And just what was the lesson I learned: Diets are stupid, and food is the best.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

3-days & 10 pounds

So, I wasn't really happy with how I looked in a bathing suit during Memorial Day weekend at the beach. 

And I like food too much and am too lazy to go into a full out diet. 

So I did some research and found ... the 3-day diet. 

Perfection. I can be miserably miserable for a few days in an effort to lose 10 days. 

Day 1 started today. Menu includes:

1/2 grapefruit
1 slice of toast with 2 tablespoons of peanut butter

1/2 cup of pumpkin seeds
1 slice of bread

3 ounces of chicken
1 cup of green beans
1/2 a banana
1 apple 
1 cup of vanilla ice cream 

And then Day 2 includes:

1 egg
1 slice of toast
1/2 a banana

2 ounces of ham
5 saltine crackers
1/4 cup of peanuts

2 hot dogs 
1 cup of broccoli
1 whole bell pepper
1/2 banana 
1/2 cup of vanilla ice cream 

And the third and final day includes:

5 saltine crackers
2 eggs
1 apple

1/4 cup peanuts
1 slice of bread

4 ounces of chicken
1/2 banana 
1 cup of vanilla ice cream 

and then BOOM! You're ten pounds lighter. 

Yeah, I know it sounds stupid and dumb and that if I do lose ten pounds, I'll just gain it all back. 

But I'm a pretty stubborn person and am going to follow it exactly to see what happens.

Results to follow. 

Happy Sunday.