the mon

one of my good friends here in tuscaloosa was diagnosed with mono yesterday.

i'm indifferent about the mono.

i got it my freshman year at auburn, just a few weeks after moving into my super disgusting dorm room. my doctor told me i needed to take a week off from school to start getting over it so i packed my bags and headed back to birmingham. that entire week was miserable, i felt like a train had run over me ... put itself in reverse, and ran over me again. that was the the bad part. i chose to look at the fact that i couldn't eat anything as the good part because i lost about twenty pounds and became smaller than i had ever been (i'm super close to fitting back into those jeans though ... fingers crossed)

at the time, i was dating this guy i met while working at mcalister's deli that summer. he made me laugh and i had fun with him ... but that was really all there was to that relationship. i didn't know that though until he refused to come visit me once i came back to birmingham. he said he couldn't risk getting sick and had to think of himself first. and my response to that was: "k, bye". relationship over. (we kinda had another fling the next summer ... but after that, the relationship was REALLY over. promise)

mono stricken jennifer just told me the boy she's seeing refused to NOT see her and so far, has come to hang out with her everyday since. i pondered this... and drew some conclusions.

and here is my point:

in a nutshell, that's all we want. we want the kind of man (emphasis on man) who will be there to sit with us when we have mono. the kind that plays our favorite song in his car cause he knows we love it. the kind that appreciates a homecooked meal and helps clean the kitchen. the kind that wants to hang out with our friends because he knows they mean so much to us. (and ... my new absolute deal breaker...) the kind that doesn't lie about little things ... or just in general would be nice too.

i've always said that i would much rather go to mcdonald's every night for dinner with someone who treats me the way i know i deserve to be treated then eat cheesecake factory with someone who makes me feel like dirt, tricking me into thinking i'm happy.

after all i've been through, i've learned that everything mentioned above is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. i'm twenty-three years old and still searching for that needle. however, i'm 100% sure i have better tools to find it now than i did a year ago.

i know i'll find it...i don't care how long it takes.

the last thing i am is a quitter.

even though i bailed on my softball game tonight ... that doesn't count though.